Pathways: Winter 2002
Something was missing.
By S. Mila Sones,CSJ
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
asked my Great Aunt as we swung leisurely on her front porch.
"A nun and a saint." I said. In my third grader's
mind, I thought all nuns automatically became saints. This
is my first memory of ever verbalizing a desire to become
a nun. As I grew, the thought entered my mind occasionally,
but I was quickly off to other seemingly more glamorous goals.
This year, as I celebrate my silver jubilee, I pause to reflect
on my life. Strange it is that I, who never attended Catholic
Schools, who never was really around religious sisters, who
often didn't even attend CCD classes, who as a young adult
didn't even attend church for a couple of years and who was
grossly unworthy of such a holy life style was mysteriously
called by God to this wonderful vocation.
Given more space in this publication, I could share the manifold
turns and twists of my twenty-five year journey, but the crunch
came when I was 27 years old. I was working for the State
and was living in an apartment. I had a nice car and great
friends to party with. What else could I want? But, something
was missing!
A friend at work encouraged me; ultimately, I returned to
the Church and her sacraments. After a while, I found myself
enjoying it and before I knew it I was teaching CCD.
Then a marvelous thing happened. I joined a Scripture group
which became my first faith community outside my family. You
see, I must give my parents much credit for really giving
me a foundation in faith (which is a story in itself) by instilling
in us their values and faith. Suddenly I really fell in love
with the Lord and wanted to spend all of my time sharing his
love with others. Still, something was missing.
Then Sisters Katie and Jo Louise came to help with our CCD
program. They both seemed so happy. One day I called Sister
Katie to talk to her about becoming a nun. She was leaving
for a number of weeks but she gave my name to Sr. Helen Prejean
who sent a flyer for a retreat in New Orleans. Amazingly I
did attend that retreat. I remember entering the lobby of
the Provincial House where a banner of a woman kneeling in
prayer displayed the slogan, "There is no limit to the
power of a good woman." That struck me deeply and over
the weekend I watched the sisters carefully.
At the end of this group retreat, Sister Helen invited us
to go deeper by attending a Directed Retreat. By now, I was
really getting serious about pursuing religious life and after
I worked up the courage, scheduled one. On that wintry, dreary
January weekend I struggled with all of the things that could
prevent me from entering the convent, but the scriptures I
prayed over removed those barriers. During one very dry prayer
time, I suddenly knew clearly in my heart that this is what
God wanted for me and that whatever it would take, I could
do it. The "something that was missing" was no longer
missing.
In this Jubilee Year, I thank God for these years of happiness,
living in community, teaching, serving as youth minister,
being a principal and now serving as pastoral associate in
Sacred Heart Parish. Despite some difficulties, my life overall
has been graced.
Whenever I speak about vocations, I invite my audience to
be open to all vocations and to pray. One can never be really
happy unless one is doing God's will.
Seized by the Great Love of God
A reflection Given on the Occasion of the Celebration of First Vows of Joan Manuel & Theresa
Pitruzzello
by Joan Laplace, CSJ
Love, then, consists in this - not that we have loved God
but that God has loved us. Two of us, Joan Manuel and Theresa
Pitruzzello, have gathered the rest of us to witness their
formal response to that love of God, the response of vows
in religious life. None of what they are doing and we are
witnessing makes any sense on the purely rational level. We
can explain their actions only in the climate of faith and
love - faith in a God they cannot see and love of God in the
neighbor, whom they can see and who is not always so lovable.
It would be strange if faith and love were not at the bottom
of the making of vows and that Joan and Theresa are in no
way in complete control of this radical personal decision.
No other human person is making them do this, and their call
to religious life transcends even their own initiatives. We
heard that message clearly stated in St. John's epistle written
two millennia ago, "not that we have loved God but that
God has loved us." Then, in case we missed it the first
time, St. John repeats it in his gospel where he quotes Jesus
saying, "I call you friends....It was not you who chose
me but I who chose you."
Where
the call originated, how these women heard it, at times ignored
it, but ultimately felt themselves caught in the "seizing
grip of God's love," (described by St. Ignatius in his
acatamiento) is the story of their journey to this day. Others
mediated God's love in their lives. Part of the joy of today
is to have some of the key mediators here, most notably their
parents and others of their own families who have played a
role in their reaching this expression of faith and love.
Joan and Theresa have not received some abstract love but
the love of God seeping into their lives through family and
friends from their earliest years.
That they choose to make a free response of YES to that "seizing
love" is mystery, is grace. It is a YES that will be
translated in their daily lives as service. Conscious as we
are in the American church of what appears as a scarcity of
religious vocations, today's profession of vows captures our
attention and our curiosity. What makes a person take this
path at a time when all institutions are being seriously challenged,
whether they be religious, governmental, financial, educational,
or even those of marriage and family?
In the case of religious life it is fairly obvious that the
loss of religious institutions is not the same as the loss
of religious life, although some may be quick to interpret
it that way. The motivation or the charism that led the various
founders to establish their orders in the first place was
a gospel response to a need they perceived in society, a need
they met as the Spirit inspired them. Institutionalizing that
response came later and had always to be measured against
the gospel imperative. It is the living out of that charism
by each religious that keeps religious life vibrant.
Joan
and Theresa are throwing in their lot not with religious institutions
but with the gospel values that Sisters of St. Joseph stand
for in today's world, particularly the value of all-inclusive
love, the love that Christ describes when he prays, "That
all may be one as you Father are in me and I in you."
Every Sister of St. Joseph strives to live in awareness of
the great love of God for herself and for all people and to
bring that love to all whom she meets. This love requires
humility; it is modeled in St. Paul's words on the love of
Christ who did not cling to his divinity but emptied himself,
becoming one of us to bring us the Father's love in a way
that we could clearly recognize it. The Sister empties herself
by her vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience so as to be
free - free to accept that God's will will be done in her
life as it was in the life of her brother Jesus.
Poverty is to keep her in right relationship with the many
goods of this world so that she will neither covet them nor
depend on them for her security. Celibacy will hold her accountable
for all her relationships against her choice of Jesus as the
center of her life. Obedience will urge her to listen with
mind and heart in community with her sisters to God's call
and to respond with generous abandon.
Each day will prove to be an opportunity for these women to
renew their vows to answer God's invitation to love and not
to count the cost, to be instruments of God's love with every
person they meet, to be a sign of hope in a world of fear
and turmoil. With their vows these novices will state publicly
their willingness, in fact, their passion, to answer the gospel
challenge of love of God and of neighbor without distinction.
Admittedly this is a serious step to take. To set themselves
on this path of contemporary religious life demands faith
and trust in God and in the CSJ community. All of us, your
sisters and companions on this journey, welcome you, Joan
and Theresa, and we promise our support. Your strength comes
from and depends on your realizing ever more deeply that Jesus'
words are addressed to you personally, "You have not
chosen me; I have chosen you ...to bring my Father's love to
all you meet."
"Sing a joyful song to the Lord, all the earth:
break forth into joyous song and sing praises." Ps. 98:4
At this time in the year we begin anew. We hear songs of joy
everywhere, but not everyone will have a song of happiness
in her heart today. Look around you wherever you are. What
songs do you hear within others? Look into your own heart.
What is the song in your soul? Can you catch any of the joy
the Word-made flesh has brought into our world?
Welcome the Christ within you in whatever form of song your
heart bears.
What discernment question is ringing in you now? Is there
a call from Christ being heard and not answered? Now is the
time to respond. Be courageous; say YES to Christ.
-Ileana Fernandez, CSJ